And neither would Regan and Carter, obviously.
Dorset Police are to patrol the naturist beach of Studland (ironymeter peaks there) to combat the problem of ordinary naturists being annoyed by those seeking to use the beach for, ahem, sexual purposes.
To blend in, the coppers are being asked to strip off - which raises the question of where they will keep their warrant cards. And carrying handcuffs is just asking for trouble.
Evenin' all. Mind how you go.