Sunday, April 11, 2010

Playing in the sandpit

Are Liam Byrne and Yvette Cooper really embarrassed after their exchange of notes was picked up on camera?

Facing a press conference comprising the second strings of the journalistic election caravan,
Miss Cooper wrote: "It's clearly second division today – presumably that's why we're allowed to do this?" Mr Byrne then scrawled "Sort of like being allowed to play in the sand pit" before handing the paper back.

Apparently this is symptomatic of ministers cut out of the loop and not just a cheerful exchange stating the reality - this was an early-morning press conference on a Saturday after a very busy first week, with a second week ahead likely to be dominated by manifesto launches and then the first ever leaders' debate, so the journalists sent their understudies. Needless to say, these understudies seem to be rather piqued at being referred to as second division, so have taken appropriate umbrage.

Are they out of the loop? Quite possibly. Campaigns are best fought with a small team actually running the day-to-day operations - decisions need to be taken quickly and committees aren't best placed to do that. Ministers need to be out and about, fighting their own seats, being seen by the electorate, delivering on the grid schedule and feeding the media hunger, not arguing the toss over the details of campaigning.

Incidentally, if you want campaign advice, try Malcolm Tucker. You won't find anything better.
Oh yeah, and here's a little tip to every Brain Ballsack MP in the Her Majesty's Government. Leave Joanna Lumley a-fucking-lone. You don't tweak the nipples of a national treasure. You do not imply she is anything other than perfect. You might as well suggest dotting the Diana Memorial Fountain with yellow piss cakes and turning it into the People's Urinal. If Jo-Lum wants to march the contents of the entire Ukrainian paedo register into an area of outstanding national beauty the response is: "Certainly, Ma'am, and could we get a photo with you?"

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